Friday, September 16, 2011

Invade My Personal Space (please)

I really enjoy reading blogs by women (sorry guys) who have great inspiring ideas, or funny home life stories, or can make gorgeous holiday decorations out of an empty paper towel tube and spray paint.  It amazes me to see women who seem to have it all together: their home, their clothes, their life.  If you are looking for a blog like that, should keep looking.

I've been toying with the idea of this blog for a long time.  Heaven knows my husband has heard about it FOREVER.  Then the self-doubt creeps back in.  What would I write about?  What if no one reads it?  What if a bunch of people read it and I feel pressure to be smart and funny all the time?  Then I turned 35.  Birthdays ending in five or zero have a way of making you reflect on your life and what is lacking.  I have a wonderful husband, three fabulous daughters, and almost zero friends.  We moved to a new city after living in the same place for 30+ years and our friendships from that prior life died out.  We then moved again (and again) and it has been a little more difficult to cultivate friends now than I anticipated.  I work from home and pick up two of my girls in the carpool lane.  The only people I see on a regular basis are our day care providers and I'm pretty sure they aren't interested in meeting me for coffee.  I am going to make an effort to meet other school parents or people at our new(ish) church, but it may be a while before I have friends close enough to hear all my weirdness.  This blog is like talking to a friend.  A friend who doesn't answer or ask questions or really care about me, but yeah, like a silent, barely listening friend.  So what if no one ever reads this?  I guess I'll be talking in space.

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